Akpororo Set To Thrill Uniben Students!

Uniben are you ready? Akpororo is coming your way on April 6th 2015.. Am sure your don't want to miss it. So hurry and get your tickets cause there are a lot of celebs also on the list to crack your ribs...

Pics from AKURE MUST LAFF with SEYILAW

It was a beautiful one on the 30th March as the people of Akure were held spell bound with scintillating performances from fine musical acts like: 9ice, Jaywon, Solidstar, Rayce, Konga, Tipsy, Belynda (from the UK), Mr 2kay, Doray and many more. The roar of laughter was massive as the funniest and most hillarious of comedians were at thier best,ranging from Host: Seyilaw, Princewill, Emeka smith, Accapella, Youngest landlord,Whalemouth,Benji d joke, Pencil, Frank o nero, Mc Ajele, Dr Smile, Sweet steve and many more.
If you were not there,o... what a miss but i have something to console you, COMEDY WORLD MAGAZINE was on ground to cover the event,here are wonderful pictures we captured...

What a show, watch out for LONDON MUST LAFF, ABERDEEN MUST LAFF, DUBLIN MUST LAFF with SEYILAW....

AN ORE IN THE GANGUE

I spent 5 minutes reading this and a whole day to ponder over it,hence i said to my self,it would be best defined as being stingy or greedy if a wonderful piece as this is for my eyes only,so i bring to you this classique piece of intelligent write up from my brother,friend and colleague, WHALE MOUTH...

I was sceptical on getting this title as often times I find it difficult to take a particular lane on issues without relating it to what I am. One can say here that am caught at the middle. As a comedian and a geologist who is thoroughly informed and learned on my dual professional citizenship, terminology choice and mode of writing is interwoven here. That is why, while in school even when am saying the right things, everybody keep laughing, not because I am bereaved of the geological informations or ideas, but because, it is Whale Mouth who is a funny comedian speaking.  this, is replicated in my choice of title for this piece. "AN ORE IN THE GANGUE" every geologist knows what am trying to deduce here, yet so many questions will definitely arise for those who are laymen and even the geological experts might want to have a debate.

Without much ado, for the benefit of the laymen like Whale Mouth who is just a comedian, Ores are useful mineral constituents such as, Zinc, gold, diamonds, Lead, Aluminium and so many others, most times these minerals are accumulated with other impurities, sometimes other minerals so when a sample let's call it sample A is found by a geologist, he trys to identify what he has. When he notices that there is a useful mineral in his sample, that mineral is an Ore while every other thing attached to it are gangues. A gangue is seen as a waste product. I could vividly recall that my colleague Mc Shakara did a show which title was "SHAKARA AND THE GANG" as a comedian Whale Mouth that was a creative title, but as Kevin a geologist I told myself that Mc Shakara had just told the world that he is the useful mineral while his friends and colleagues that make up the gang are impurities. Funny enough I performed at the show, so automatically am one of the impurities. LoL!

Ores are usually separated from gangues to make it useful and economical, that is why the gold pass through the furnace that is so hot for purification. That is why when zinc is found it is separated from Lead which is commonly found with in the lab. With this I can say that for every useful mineral that has been separated, it had a gangue (impurities) initially

Subsequently, I can say also that, for every successful entity today, as at its potential state it had impurities, until a force was acted upon, and that force led to the removal of his/her impurities.
When you decide to be at your potential state, you as good as the impurities, you are part of the gangue, you are not known, you are useless, you are a priceless commodity. Only researches and discoveries brought about the gold and diamonds we revere so much today. Hitherto to the researches and discoveries they where gangues, they where impurities. I bet you, if you see a gangue with gold in it, you will want to use it as a stone to hit the mango fruit on the tree, when you get your mango fruits you walk away leaving the gangue with gold in it(stone). Paying prominence to mango leaving a raw gold, whereas; the former is greater than the later, only if it was able to identify itself.

However, today so many of us who are actually ores, tend to be so comfortable among impurities, we feel we are not useful because what we see around us are impurities, we see ourselves as gangues because we live and dine with them. We are unable to visualise the greatness in us. The impurities around us make it inevitable for us to take a step. We are bounded with limitations, we say to ourselves "am not the only one here", we fail to take cognisance of the fact that though we may be together our future and destiny are not the same, because even within the gangue in geology there distinct differences from every impurity, the consistuents of Gold and Silver differs yet they could be found together as a gangue. Its like a baby leopard found by a shepherd and he decided to rear it among its sheep, when ever the baby leopard gets to the stream its reflection is  totally different from the herds of sheep, yet it sees itself as a sheep because its yet to discover who he truly it. 

My dear friends, it is time to begin to think outside the box, yes, it is time to move away from being part of the gangue to become an ore. You cannot be a useful mineral, in as much you are part of the gangue, you are useless. Seize to be an impurity today, your resignation letter as a member of the gangue is long overdue.

These are the common story you here while in gangue: "nobody in my family have Bsc", "nobody have ever travelled out of the country", "my Dad didn't own a car" "my mum is just a civil servant, so I will just work with my school leaving certificate". Hey! No no no... who on earth doesn't want gold and diamonds, you see celebrities pay much to get them and they flaunt them. They where actually useless until they got discovered and purified. They were in that gangue you are now, refuse to be am impurity, tell yourself, positive things, say "I am an Ore not a gangue" ores are very expensive, gangues are given for free. I recall visiting a zinc mining site in Ebonyi state, the miners allowed us to take samples of the gangues for free though they were zinc ore in them, but as at the state they were, they are useless because they have not been purified but do you know that we payed for the Zinc ores, that have already been separated?.

There is something in us that separate us from others, we are born unique and dynamic. One more thing you should know is that, when an ore is discovered, it take processing to make it more precious. So it doesn't end in discovering only, you have to pass through a process the more you are in the process of being useful, the better you will become. The gold you cherish so much pass through a very hot furnace in order to be the best. We shall talk about the processing subsequently.

Conclusively, I will challenge you today, to take walk away from the gangue.  You can be richer than Dangote, you can move from being an employee to employer, you can move from being an obioma tailor to be an international fashion designer, you can be funnier and Ali baba, more creative than AY, a better actor than Jim Iyke. A better footballer than Lionel Messi.  Like the HIV/AIDS awareness adverts, "IT BEGINS WITH YOU" or the Peak Milk commercials using Kanu Nwankwo says "ITS IN YOU"
When next I see you, I should be shaking hands with you as an Ore not the member of the gangue.

By:
WHALE MOUTH CFR
KEVIN USIAPHE (NMGS)

ROCK DA CLUB live in Ikorodu

 

XCESS LOUNGE & COMEDY BAR plans to bring the hit down to ikorodu like it has never happened before. If you are in ikorodu,lock down 14th march,all road leads to XCESS LOUNGE... Reminisce//Doray//Mr 2kay//Konga storms ikorodu along side Comedians: Princewill// whale mouth in a night of xclusive party & dancing tagged: Rock Da Club with Host: Seyilaw. Partying and dancing till dawn in an xclusive arena Venue: XCESS LOUNGE & COMEDY BAR,5 omodisu str opp mambillah hotel,off isawo road,agric,ikorodu Gate: 1k only....

Date: 14th march 2014... 7pm till dawn

THE BOOK OF VAL CHAPTER 1 VS ONEONENTYONE

And it shall come to pass that on vals day,excuses shall arise again namely: flat batteries, my boss sent me on a trip, serious traffic jam,BIS expired, Dp refused to change, i lost my atm card, i have an important meeting etc... when thou seeth these signs,be calm,keep thy peace and let it sink into thy head that surely thou art not thy boos boo... thou art a learner!!!

NIGERIAN GIRLS PROTEST IN PENDING ON ELECTION DATE

Its been a sweet regime for me maybe because i made money but of many decisions made by the federal govt,Nigerians have agreed with only a few.
 When the federal govt put a 14year term on the gay issue on ground,90% of Nigerians applauded the decision and unlike politics majority won the votes . Yes surely it was a nice one,even in the era of civilization we must not forget the morals our fore fathers had followed.
But now the INEC has decided on the date of elections and of all 365 days in a year they decided to make 14th febuary for that matter the date for presidential elections, clearly Nigerians again applauded this especially top officials and young boys but i promise you,Nigerian girls no go gree.
Well for boys it would save us money supposed to be spent on HUMAN HAIR, BLACKBERRY PHONES, IPADs, RECHARGE CARDS,just to mention but a few and for all our sugar daddies it will save you FLIGHT TICKETS TO TINAPA, MONEY FOR HANGOUT AND UNNECESSARY FLEXING,HUMAN HAIR and the many things you use to snatch them from us. But i can assure you this girls are not complaining yet because they want to focus on this valentine and other dates of extraction in the year but be rest assured for a protest in january 2015 and this time minority might have thier say after all them play all Nigerians April fool last election.
But anyway next year instead of happy val, we(boys & sugar daddies) would say happy presidential elections and instead of human hair we would offer them voters card.

AN OPEN LETTER TO MY MENTORS

In my life I have had reasons to regret but yet i have had a lot of reasons to thank God for so many of the decisions I have made.
I have made enemies,back stabbers, traitors but then I have made friends that would stop @ nothing to see me progress and soar high.
At the early stage I was almost retreating but thanks to God almighty who proved to me that I have what it takes,forgetting the very discouraging words some have told me feels impossible and forgetting the great words of encouragement from some of my senior colleagues doesn't feel but is impossible.

The extent i have gotten to today didn't come by magic but by training from so many great men both in the industry of comedy and other industries,today when I anchor weddings and people say this is fantastic,i look up and thank God for some men he has directed me to,they made me great by God's grace.
Today I write to say thank u to my heavenly father,the God of heaven and earth,the bright and the morning star, the rock of ages. If God could bring a young boy sleeping under the bridge in 2005 to become a celebrity envied and loved by so many in 2013,then he has not started yet because I stand as a witness to his great works including the life of man.
I want to use this opportunity to say a big thank u to my friends,brothers,colleagues,mentors and fathers who have refused to stop believing in me,thank you so much.
I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR,lets get higher in 2014,God bless you more than you can imagine...
COMEDIAN PRINCEWILL