HAPPY IN THE PENDING

…WE DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER
I’m just watching a movie titled “ Nigeria” in my imagination; Jonathan is ruling, David Mark tenure is unending, Legislator are debating; whether or not a 13 years old girl should be marrying. Anyway, Fashola is working, Governors are fuming, River State is boiling, Politicians are deceiving; its 2015 they are thinking. Federal Government is misleading, ASSU is striking, Education is declining, Oil is booming and other sectors are dying. Boko Haram is bombing, Nigerians are toiling; PHCN is holding; Musicians are beefing; actually its noise they are making. Super Eagles are trying, Nollywood is shocking. Dangote is building, Poverty is growing and the masses are mourning. Then finally, someone I know is speaking, and me -Am now writing.
1st October every year, Nigeria becomes the subject matter of the literary world, writers can agree to discuss what to write on as there is a plethora of issue involving Nigeria to write on in approbation on the above, 2013 is not an exception; From the unholy tussle rocking the seat on power, to a deceiving educational sector, a useless extravagance on iPhones, a police reform that never was, a notional change of car plate numbers because one man is supplying the new number plates, a rebranding that was never branded , subsidy, a new faction of same old politicians, a bill that was ill and so much more. Mind you, it is not all gloom and doom for Nigeria; one can simply be on a merry mood and write about Nigeria last outing at d African cup of nations that saw the Nigeria national team emerge as African champions -the choice is really yours. This is why I write on this day, not on recent trends but on the same old monster that has enslaved us since we attained independence.
The slogan of Nigeria during the re-branding and post rebranding era is “Good people, Great nation” and I have always had the impression that this slogan emanated from a heart of hope for the future and nothing else. Aristotle once said, “To conquer a thousand army is not as difficult as to conquer one’s self”. Nigeria as a nation attained independence some 53years ago and not surprisingly its first conquest was itself. The country was amalgamated in 1914 by Europeans who had their interest at heart. Nigeria has not deemed its fit to put these circumstances behind her and come together for the greater good. The land mass or Nigeria undoubtedly cut across many ethnic lines and the sad reality is that these lines have been made even more visible over the years –Yes, Nigeria first conquest is TRIBALISM.
It is of common place for Nigerians to ask for your tribe at the start or a conversation, this is usually the determining factor if they will be interested in continuing the conversation or initiating another one in future. Universities are flourishing with ethnic division. I have seen them, I have seen parents refuse to give consent to a child that will allow him or her marry someone from another tribe, I have seen traders sell goods cheaper to tribes men, I have seen neighbors of same tribe live well knowingly ignoring another neighbor that’s not of that tribe, I have seen people ignoring Facebook request solely on the basis of tribe. I don’t want to pry into the employment quota of any organization because I don’t usually see the application details and for similar reasons, I will choose to ignore the ill dividends or tribalism on admission of students into Nigerian universities. This unholy monster has made no intentions to hide his presence, so why have nothing been actually done in tackling it after all this donkey years: The reason is not far-fetched;
“Tribalism has been swindled and systematically manipulated to work in favor of quite a many few”
Firstly, politicians have sought solace in the unflattering wings of tribalism before and during election as a result, leaders who win the polls tends to dish out favor’s to tribesmen as gratitude after elections and the circle goes on.
Secondly, Nigerians don’t seems to know any better, that is why politicians are so confident or this route to power, they understand Nigerians will never learn, they know too well how to use the same promise in different ways, they have mastered the act on fooling Nigerians over and over again, and all this is made possible on the grounds of sentimental attachment to a common tongue (which they may not even speak well). Too many at times, Nigerians expect an election to produce a messiah, but history have shown that election produce leaders (when it actually free and fair). A leader ought to be a selfless manager; not a miracle worker but, one whose works are miraculous.
Finally, the odious grip of tribalism has choked us because the average Nigerian is first his tribesman before he is a Nigerian, and why not? I do not necessarily blame them, a National figure in the first republic once publicly acclaimed to be a Yoruba man before he is a Nigerian. What he did not know was the fact that such utterance would form the bedrock of our problems, some 50years latter, he didn’t know any better.
Tribalism has become a tenure score card, we often find people saying, “we put our brother there and he has forgotten about us”, I often find Nigerians telling fellow Nigerians ”what are you doing in our land, go back to your place” and you still tell me these are great people, from a great nation?? That slogan just has to be hope. Nigerians don’t know that a nation is not a great nation because it has common ancestors but because it produces a common descendant. Unless they are acquiring oil blocks, it is most difficult to find a man who hails from northern Nigeria investing in the southern part of Nigeria, a country where the location of a company determine ninety percent of the staff body and non-indigene of the primary community are treated like outsiders. I profoundly wonder the point of having our national i.d card read “Nigerian” when our hearts differ. When a man does something, the first look out is for his tribe and attempt to generalize in accordance with the attribute bestowed on his tribe by our own native intelligence.
Nigerians don’t know any better that such attribute only channel the spotlight in a particular part of these persons let me give you an example; as much as I hate being drag into this act, it is widely acceptable that “ all Igbo’s like money” but I mean, give me a break -who doesn’t? Giving these attribute to the Igbo’s only does one thing; in a conversation or when dealing with a group of people, if anyone who is not Igbo brings up the issue of money, it is addressed as normal and the issue comes first but where this person turns out to be Igbo, because there is already this spotlight on the person from our heart; we tend to put the person before the issue. This is the lightest case I can think of, as we usually laugh over it when it occurs in our everyday society, but suffice to say, there are other technical issues were tribalism becomes a genuine cankerworm that eat into our systems and leave our production system rotten. It blinds our eye to efficacy and effectiveness. Sentimental loyalty should be encouraged for natural grace and not national disgrace.
Let us put effort to teach the children, “culture for the value of heritage” as the letter should not be longer than the envelop, let us also ensure they never forget that their only laudable heritage is a “One Nigeria“ that is really ONE.
Let them know better.
While this pending…
Nigeria is 53, and we are happy in the pending.
With these few words I wish u a Happy independence.
Written by: Gbakeji Joshua
Produced by: Comedian PrincewilL

JOKE OF THE WEEK

ASUU Executives Were Called For a Meeting In The UK... So They All Met At The Murtala Muhammed
International Airport
In Lagos...
While They Were Seated And Relaxed In The
Plane, They Were Informed That
The Plane Was Built
By A Group Of Students From Nigeria's
Universities And The Plane Was On Its First Experimental Trip... They
All Ran Out Of The
Plane, Except One Person and When He Was
Asked His Reason For Remaining,
He Said "If Truly It Is Made By Our Nigerian Students, It Will Not Even Start!.... Gud afternun my pple

COMEDIAN SENATOR,AN EMBLEM OF GREATNESS

Aristotle once said "men of substance do not wear gold, but when scratched lightly; u will discover they are made of gold". Grate men have exhumed greatness in various forms,Martin Luther King fought racism, Nelson Mandela fought apartied and so many others. One thing that runs through in the life of all great men is that, they all believe in something, no matter how ordinary and make extra ordinary success out of it.
Have you seen a man deligent in what he does for he shall stand before kings and princes,this is the case of this hero of Nigerian comedy,a man good at what he does,filled with a good heart and strategies that produces greatness.
when comedians were still known as jokers and unserious people, it was obvious the era was right for the Nigerian comedy industry to be taken to the next level way back, but such uprisim did not come till some great men took the bull by the horn and gave our generation a reason to boost of what we do, no wonder he's stood before presidents,governors,senators and great men.
 Little wonder the bible says "though d harvest is ready but the laborers are few". It will not b totally fair to acclaim this uprising to one man (even the bible said laborerS), but one of the laborers who have been very instrumental in this vineyard is this prominent and amiable man, a man who's indelible impute has impacted and inspired young comedians like myself to believe in our talent and dreams.
In a time of packaging and a season of upgrade, the destiny of the Nigerian comedy industry rest amongst others on the shoulders of competent comedians,one of them is named .....Comedian Senator. A man of skill and steel; a man who took comedy to another level; a man who contributed so much to introduce the corporate aspect of Nigerian Comedy to the world. I believe christ had him in mind when he said "by their fruits, we shall know them" for he has won numerous awards and been a blessing to many. I was dumbfounded when I saw comments of his fans @ the NEA awards in U.S.A.

When I talk about his love for colleagues and the public in general,I talk in full confidence as a living witness,this man hardly walks through any part without leaving a mark even if the ground is a rock,this is seen in so many of us young comedians who has had one or two things to do with THIS GREAT MAN.

Inks n sheet on a global scale would be far too few for me to put down the remarkable achievement and unmistakable impacts of this greatest of the great. Suffice to state that, just as the dream of Martin Luther King jnr gave birth to the highly celebrated Barrack Obama, I'm honoured to b a product of your dream and mighty works and as long as humans will continue to breath oxygen,Your name and good works will be forever engraved in the sands of time;
Today I stand with a joyous heart as I write to celebrate a master,mentor,friend,father,brother and colleague.........
Your good works shall not bring you shame sir and your good heart shall not lead to your downfall.
Where you are today shall be the lowest you would ever get to from today.
Greater works shall you do sir and greater things shall you achieve. Your name would stay on the lips of men for a very long while.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SIR BETHEL UZOMA NJOKU (COMEDIAN SENATOR)
FROM YOUR LOYAL SON PRINCEWILL.

   

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ASPU(Association of Students Parents Union) goes on strike

APU
BREAKING NEWs:The association of parents union
of Nigeria(APU) has decided to join asuu on their strike
thereby not giving their children and wards who are
students allowances and pocket money...the
chairman of the union says "how we go give dem
pocket money and allowance wen food dey house
and make dem no dey waka anyhow..make dem
read der books for haus bcos as asuu call off der
strike na exam dem go go write."on hearing dis the
president of d Association of academic children and
wards union (AACWU) of Nigeria responded by
urging all d students and wards to come out for a
peaceful protest tomorrow morning....
Information reaching us later carried that the
association of parents union of Nigeria will call off
their strike immediately asuu calls off theirs..... asuu
has made us to kno that d strike will last till
2030..thnx

QUESTIONS THAT CRACKS

Its surprising how some very hilarious things pass us by unnoticed,the most surprising part of this whole thing is even the people that does this things hardly have a reason for doing them,and neither do we. Now let's see if we do.

QUESTION FOR THE WEEK: Why does Obj never wear suit? Let's get ur reaction

NIGERIA CELEBREATES AN ICON OF COMEDY AND A MENTOR OF YOUTHS: COMEDIAN SENATOR

Unlike other industries,the industry of comedy is an exceptional industry with a high measure of luv amongst colleagues not withstanding their class and levels. Today I present to u an icon of Nigerian comedy who has been a blessing to fellow comedians and especially upcoming acts,one thing that catalyses my respect for him is his high level of intelligence and love for younger ones and I'll be happy to tell inform you that today14th sept is his birthday,hence we use this medium to celebrate you sir. Comedian Princewill sits with him today on an exclusive & hilarious interview.
Ladies and gentlemen,a blessing to Nigerian comedy,an internationally recognized comedian,an award winning act,a husband of one wife and a father to young ones,I present to u Comedian SENATOR.



1st & foremost I comedian Princewill want to say a profound thank u sir for honoring our interview and on behalf of myself and my entire crew and comedians of the federal republic of Nigeria we wish a Happy Birthday.
SENATOR:
Thank you very much The Prince...I appreciate


SO SIR WHAT PLANS ARE ON GROUND TO CELEBRATE WITH FANS & FRIENDS?
SENATOR:
I really do not intend to close the whole  streets of Lagos in celebration. Its just going to me,my family and a few friends. Though friends are planning on hosting me at the GET Arena by the evening

CAN U GIVE US A BRIEF STORY OF YOUR BACKGROUND SIR,EARLY LIFE & EDUCATION,ETC.
SENATOR:
My background in brief,I hope I can summarize it ...cheii. I was born  Bethel Uzoma Njoku to Engineer and Mrs Njoku,first child of a polygamous family of nine. I was basically raised in the North. I came from Imo state. I had my primary education in the north,my secondary in the east,and finally my university education back in the North, Jos to be precise. I grew up like every average Nigerian. Tasked with all the challenges of life.

SO CAN YOU PLEASE TELL US HOW COMEDY STARTED FOR YOU.
SENATOR:
Comedy started from the university.
I studied Theater Arts. I am a trained theater practitioner. I was always in touch wit the Arts,so it wasn't new for me to transit into stand up comedy

SIR IF YOU WERE NOT A COMEDIAN,WHAT WOULD WE KNOW SENATOR FOR?
SENATOR:
If I wasn't a comedian,I would have been a lecturer in the university or a business tycoon

SO WHAT ARE THE MOST TASKING CHALLENGES COMEDY HAS PRESENTED YOU SIR?
SENATOR:
Challenges are part of existence. So with the career its also usual. U get to see people who feel you should make them laff even at odd times,when u don't do that they feel you are proud. Some others feel u don't have a life asides comedy. Some others refuse to accept your level of talent and creativity out of complex. Some await on your own creativity to establish their own,they plagiarize your creative content. Challenges are various,but like I said thats part of life

SIR CAN YOU TELL US SOME FEW THINGS ABOUT YOU THAT MOST PEOPLE HASN'T NOTICED IN YOU?
SENATOR:
I wouldn't know what people haven't noticed in me...if I do that's means am a native doctor

WHAT'S YOUR SOURCE OF INSPIRATION SIR?
SENATOR:
My source of inspiration is environment,peoples actions and the divine grace

A WORD FOR YOUR FANS & YOUNGER COLLEAGUES...
SENATOR:
For my Fans...they should keep fanning,the heat plenty. My younger colleagues "una know as e dey be nau, hussle ur salvation"

Sir on behalf of myself(comedian Princewill) and my entire crew we say God bless you for your time,thanx a lot sir and plz extend my greetings to your wonderful & very beautiful wife and precious family. God bless u sir.
SENATOR:
Thank you very much Princewill...you are one of the FEW.